Not even so bad it's good.
Well, they did it. They beat Twin Dilemma.
Episode 2 is the single worst 25 minutes of DW ever made up to that point, possibly ever. It's dull, arbitrary, hard to follow, does not sustain interest, the characters are unsympathetic and looks cheap. It is rivalled only by episode 3.
Not clear what the vibe is here.
- It's not 50's nostalgic gay fun. The holiday camp and Ken Dodd are horrible.
- It's not comedy. No one tells any jokes.
- It's not a musical. There's a song or two but they're diegetic (part of the scene in the story) (e.g. Navarrino passengers singing on the bus).
- It's not drama. The Bannermen. Delta, the bounty hunter, the dancing, the camp P.A.are cartoonish at best.
- It's not satirical. What is it's target? (Other than itself.)
- It's not exciting. The motorbike chase scenes in ep2 seem to be filmed in slow motion.
The direction (Chris Clough) is bad but it ruins the climax to ep2 when Mel, Doc and Burton visibly stop at their mark before the Bannermen guns are cocked. The goof scenes (motorbike ep2) where Sylvester suddenly has his glasses on and in the next shot they're gone are unforgivable in a modern television production.
Dialogue is execrable. Many scenes feature dialogue that makes no sense and tells a different story from scene to scene.
The plot is crazy and disappointing. The disposal of the Navarrinos when the Bannermen destroy the bus is undermined by poor direction, inappropriate performances and some awful incidental music. The scene seems arbitrary and insignificant. Why isn't this shocking? It's shocking that it isn't.
What the actual Fruit is going on when the Bannermen are lured into the honey store. They are waylaid by Garonwy's life's work of special honey falling on them and smashing... (not scary or funny.. more like boring) then they are attacked by electronic "bees". Why do bees suddenly start stinging them? Bees aren't stimulated to do this by honey or broken glass... Next scene the Bannermen have makeup red welts but otherwise they are unaffected. Garonwy doesn't seem to notice that his honey hoard is ruined.
The climax is twee. The Chimeron baby grows up enough to make an attack cry that when amplified (slightly) makes Bannermen clasp their ears in pain and collapse. And then what? Delta, Billie and Princess dork face hijack their ship and head off to the next battle? It's presented as some kind of 'happy ever after'!!!
The performances are wobbly and poor.
- Stubby Kaye and Morgan Deare look drunk.
- Hugh Lloyd (Garonwy) looks and sounds gaga.
- Belinda Mayne as the Chimeron queen and her continuity error baby are by turns stiff or appalling.
- David Kinder as Billy the druggie stalker is even worse.
- Richard Davies teeth are scary.
- Don Henderson is hammy as fruit.
Incoherent. Not funny. Not even weird. Very, very unsatisfying indeed.
This is the depth, the bottom of the pit. This is the new, stone-cold, motherless bottom of the barrel.
ABM Rating 0.35/4.00
LJM Rating 0.10/5.00
SPJ Rating 0.25/10
No. 149 (out of 149)
Link to Cumulative Rankings
Rankings Scoreboard
No comments:
Post a Comment