099 The Pirate Planet

Started 21-Aug

Moons of madness!!!

There's something almost lyrically poetic about some of the dialogue in this.

It is recognisable Adams.

Try this

• (Out in the plaza, Romana is using a telescope to get a better look at the metal building up above them. A guard walks up to her and takes it away.)
• GUARD: This is a forbidden object.
• ROMANA: Why?
• GUARD: That is a forbidden question. You are a stranger?
• ROMANA: Well, yes.
• GUARD: Strangers are forbidden.
• ROMANA: I did come with the Doctor.
• GUARD: Who is
• ROMANA: Ah, now, don't tell me. Doctors are forbidden as well. 

As well as the beautiful brevity of the scene and the arch way the guard plays it it is just great drama. It sets up questions like: why are telescopes forbidden? why are the Captain's guards so anxious to ban things? Romana's learning about Zanak quickly. That's great storytelling.

The scenes in p1 where the Doctor fails to attract the attention of Zanak passers by, then Romana does it without any trouble at all, then when the Doctor tries again they actually start running away is actually one of the funniest DW scenes ever filmed.

Here's another favourite (from p2):

• ROMANA: You mean you knew they were here? You knew that this mountain's really a spaceship and it's broken down?
• DOCTOR: More or less, yes.
• ROMANA: But how? How did you know?
• DOCTOR: Well, I just put one point seven nine five three seven two and two point two oh four six two eight together.
• ROMANA: And what does that mean?
• DOCTOR: Four!
• ROMANA: Four!

The story is a compelling mixture.
It has pathos and heft.

• DOCTOR: Then it's the most brilliant piece of astro-gravitational engineering I've ever seen. The concept is simply staggering. Pointless, but staggering.
• CAPTAIN: I'm gratified that you appreciate it.
• DOCTOR: Appreciate it? Appreciate it? What, you commit mass destruction and murder on a scale that's almost inconceivable and you ask me to appreciate it? Just because you happen to have made a brilliantly conceived toy out of the mummified remains of planets
• CAPTAIN: Devil storms, Doctor! It is not a toy!
• DOCTOR: What's it for? Huh? What are you doing? What could possibly be worth all this?

But it has B movie plotting...  'evil' mentiads, crap laser gun fights and blowing up the Captain's Bridge/Castle are dull tropes.

And part 4 falls away with bafflegab explanations and an explosion which makes the story feel unresolved and the viewer let down unfairly somewhat.

Also it is known that the filming of this started with scripts for p3 and 4 undelivered. Douglas was struggling to meet deadlines even this early in his career.

But this is pretty brilliant otherwise and seems kinda modern in 2019. A lot of the fan criticism of it stems from timid conservatism. (That is a trend which will er,... develop.) But I think it's fair to say that it might have been even better with a bit more thoughtful plotting.




ABM Rating 3.60/4.00
LJM Rating 4.25/5.00
SPJ Rating 9.80/10   

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No. 11 (out of 99)

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